Shower!

Labor nurses everywhere would like to beg, plead, bribe - whatever it takes - but if you are going to come into the hospital and tell us you're ready to have a baby, would you please take a shower? A bath would work well too. You know - we'd like to know the color of your feet and that the black color that they currently are is not because your feet are rotting away.

We'd like to be able to do a vaginal exam without having to resort to wearing a gas mask.

We'd like to not have to fumigate the room when you leave because the smell that is left behind is so pungent that we can't admit another patient to the room.