Dealing with Anger
Well it seems that this blog has hit a "nerve" with a reader in Denver, Colorado - a reader with some serious anger issues - and someone who obviously had a horrid birth experience. In response to the "Rules of Labor and Delivery" post, which was something simply posted as an example of "labor humor," it certainly elicted a few posts of rage from this individual. And I don't blame her. Sadly, she is of the opinion that I wrote these "rules," (which I didn't by the way - they're easily found on the web) - but in being challenged "not to post it" - I put it in the open for all to read. Her email is an example of poor nursing - but her anger needs to be directed at the hospital and medical personnel that took care of HER - not on a blog! She challenged me to post - I challenge her to not be "anonymous!"
Here's her first post to me:
Piss you off? Let me tell you about pissed. My L&D nurse gave me a drug that she SAID was pitocin. Later I found out that it wasn't pitocin at all, but Cytotec, inserted vaginally, against my will, begged her not to, she told me I didn't know what I was talking about. At the time I didn't know what cytotec was. What I did know was that the first dose started contractions so hard and so fast I couldn't breathe - and neither could my baby. The whole day all they told me was to suffer through the pain. The whole day they told me my baby was in distress and they would do nothing except tell me I was paranoid and she was fine. When I asked them how she could be in distress and be fine at the same time, they got very nasty and told me that they were the professionals and I was the patient and I had to trust them.
Not only did they give my cytotec, they gave me vistaril, demerrol, pitocin and an epidural within an eight hour period of time. I was unconscious for nine hours and they weren't the least bit concerned.
When they saw my baby was suffering bradycardia for three hours, they did nothing. When they saw that she was suffering tachycardia for two hours, they did nothing. When she was suffering shoulder dystocia upon delivery, they said nothing.
They spent AN HOUR rescusitating my baby and they never said a word.
When I asked the nurse what her Apgar scores were, she told me the one minute score was not important but her five minute score was six.
They didn't know for three days that they had broken her collar bone.
When I asked why should wouldn't wake up, they told me she was tired. When I told them she won't nurse because she can't wake up, they told me she won't let herself starve. When I asked them how it was that my baby's collar bone was broken, they told me it was NORMAL.
They told me it was NORMAL for a baby to sleep for nine days solid. They told me it was NORMAL to spike a 103-degree temperature in labor, and they told me it was normal to have to stop pushing to vomit - TWICE.
Piss you off? My baby suffered severe brain damage because of the CARE I got from nurses and a doctor who DIDN'T care enough to do their jobs, who did nothing but lie to me and tell me I was paranoid.
My next two children were born with certified nurse midwives, the BEST experiences of my life. They were caring and sensitive to my concerns, they told me everything up front and more than anything, they knew what the hell they were doing.
I thank God that my friend - who would have pissed you off - was there, because while I was unconscious for hours on end in the labor room, she was taking notes.
Difficult patients who think they know everything? Arrogant B**ch! I hope you get a nurse as careless as you. Maybe then you'll understand what it's like to have to trust someone who doesn't give a damn about your life because the only thing she's concerned with is how much time she's got left on the clock before she can go home.
I realize that you probably won't post this, but you know what? Someone needs to care about women and their health, and it's clearly not L&D nurses.
So nurses in Denver - are you reading?
Here's her first post to me:
Piss you off? Let me tell you about pissed. My L&D nurse gave me a drug that she SAID was pitocin. Later I found out that it wasn't pitocin at all, but Cytotec, inserted vaginally, against my will, begged her not to, she told me I didn't know what I was talking about. At the time I didn't know what cytotec was. What I did know was that the first dose started contractions so hard and so fast I couldn't breathe - and neither could my baby. The whole day all they told me was to suffer through the pain. The whole day they told me my baby was in distress and they would do nothing except tell me I was paranoid and she was fine. When I asked them how she could be in distress and be fine at the same time, they got very nasty and told me that they were the professionals and I was the patient and I had to trust them.
Not only did they give my cytotec, they gave me vistaril, demerrol, pitocin and an epidural within an eight hour period of time. I was unconscious for nine hours and they weren't the least bit concerned.
When they saw my baby was suffering bradycardia for three hours, they did nothing. When they saw that she was suffering tachycardia for two hours, they did nothing. When she was suffering shoulder dystocia upon delivery, they said nothing.
They spent AN HOUR rescusitating my baby and they never said a word.
When I asked the nurse what her Apgar scores were, she told me the one minute score was not important but her five minute score was six.
They didn't know for three days that they had broken her collar bone.
When I asked why should wouldn't wake up, they told me she was tired. When I told them she won't nurse because she can't wake up, they told me she won't let herself starve. When I asked them how it was that my baby's collar bone was broken, they told me it was NORMAL.
They told me it was NORMAL for a baby to sleep for nine days solid. They told me it was NORMAL to spike a 103-degree temperature in labor, and they told me it was normal to have to stop pushing to vomit - TWICE.
Piss you off? My baby suffered severe brain damage because of the CARE I got from nurses and a doctor who DIDN'T care enough to do their jobs, who did nothing but lie to me and tell me I was paranoid.
My next two children were born with certified nurse midwives, the BEST experiences of my life. They were caring and sensitive to my concerns, they told me everything up front and more than anything, they knew what the hell they were doing.
I thank God that my friend - who would have pissed you off - was there, because while I was unconscious for hours on end in the labor room, she was taking notes.
Difficult patients who think they know everything? Arrogant B**ch! I hope you get a nurse as careless as you. Maybe then you'll understand what it's like to have to trust someone who doesn't give a damn about your life because the only thing she's concerned with is how much time she's got left on the clock before she can go home.
I realize that you probably won't post this, but you know what? Someone needs to care about women and their health, and it's clearly not L&D nurses.
So nurses in Denver - are you reading?
Labels: bad delivery experience, labor
posted by One Voice at
8:11 PM
3 Comments:
My mouth is hanging open. I don't even know what to say to that email. I seriously can't imagine half of that stuff happening. Unconscious for hours? Really?
My sister had a baby in Denver, her nurses were great!
Wow, she has a lot of rage--and she is looking for someone to blame and be agry with--unfortunately you got the brunt of it.
If I didnt care, I wouldnt be in this profession. I understand where she is coming from, but her feelings are clearly misdirected.
L&D nurses are heroes. Period.
I have a hard time imagining someone would ignor fetal distress. If they do, it is plain and simple Malpractice.
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